Ever Wonder Why the Church Has To Fundraise?
by SurprizeSurprize457
Summary: Refer to title R


Many people today wonder why the church requests payments. Of course, none of the members of the church mind paying in weekly donations, fundraisers or in special gatherings such as Generations of Faith (GOF). However, curiosity may overcome people so much and they cannot help but wonder: why is there a mystery of why the church asks for money? With all good mysteries occurring in the past and present, there is a solution.

The tale begins on a clear night. There were many stars shining overhead. Inside of a small two bed room house, a fourteen year old girl was laying down on her sleeping mat trying to decipher her parent's excited whispers. "I cannot believe she will be married off in two more weeks" said her father's excited voice. Mary had to strain to hear her mother's soft voice. "Yes, she has really grown up. Hopefully Joseph will be religious like her". After listening to her parents for a few more minutes, Mary decided to say her nightly prayers and turn in. Suddenly for the first time in Mary's life, she realized that she did not want to marry Joseph. It wasn't that Joseph was not a very nice farm boy. She felt nothing personal against him and Mary felt that a person should be able to choose their spouse for love, not money nor family friendships. Thinking about how much she would miss her family when she moved away in two weeks, Mary began to cry. Through her tears, Mary saw a luminous glow near her oil lamp. Mary stopped crying and looked up curiously.

Standing above her was an angel with golden curly hair and a halo. "Fear me not" said the angel. "I am not afraid" replied Mary. The angel continued, "I have been sent by God to tell you that you will bear a child, you must name him Jesus". "But why have I been chosen, I am not special in any way, just an illiterate girl who is to be married", replied Mary. The angel responded, "God thinks that you are special as is everyone in their own way. This is an honor if you choose to accept it". "I accept your offer" said Mary.

"Good night Mary, soon you will have Jesus, I must go but first I must tell you something very important". "What is it?" asked Mary excitedly. "A young man named Joseph is standing outside right outside your window, he must come with you on your journey", replied the angel. "Journey where" asked Mary. "You will find out in due time, fear not for the Lord is always with you. Look for the star through the sky. You will know which one it is".

In a flash of blinding light Gabriel was gone. Mary opened her window for Joseph and told him to leave and that she would see him in the morning. The next day, there was a terrible raid by an evil king. Mary was separated from her family as Joseph was his. Together they headed toward Bethlehem. Eight and a half months later they reached Bethlehem. An abandoned donkey now carried a very pregnant Mary while Joseph walked ahead. Joseph knew Mary was very close to giving birth so he frantically looked for shelter. They came to an Inn and coincidentally, there was a star over the Inn. Joseph asked for a room and the Inn Keeper said no, but they could have a shed in the back.

Baby Jesus was soon born and the happy family stayed in the shed for about a month. They found that life in the shed was very relaxing compared to the outside. Twice a day the Merry Maids would come in and change the sheets and linens. Not as everyone pictures them today, the Three Wise Men were not so wise about fluid cleaners or bleach. Caspar, the oldest of the Wise Men tried to convince Mary to sit back and relax. The maids were paid to clean up. However, the maids were not paid in full, their paychecks were shortened and no one could figure out why. Finally, the Inn Keeper finally solved the problem. The Christ's were not paying a bill or keeping a tab so being the man he was, the Inn Keeper confronted Joseph. Later that night, he confronted Joseph, Mary and the Three Wise Men.

After discussing their predicament and adding up their debt, Joseph, Mary and the Three Wise Men huddled together. After a final prayer and blessing, Caspar, Melchior and Balthasar exclaimed: "Through the Lord's thoughtfulness, we forgive you for not paying the tab for us!" Before the Inn Keeper could protest, he was being shuffled out of the door by Joseph.

The next day, King Herod became very angry for some reason and everywhere was raided. The family of three got seperated, and a now two year old Jesus was taken to his cousin's house. Jesus grew up in his cousin John's house. One day when Jesus was ten, John took him down to a watering hole and baptized him. Henceforth, John is known as John the Baptist.

Jesus grew up to become a religious teacher and a carpenter. He also became known as a savior. One day when Jesus was getting ready for work he noticed that John was dressing formally. "John" he said "You look very nice, where are you going?" John replied "To a friend of mine's wedding." "Oh", said Jesus, "have fun!" A few hours later John found himself running down the road looking for his cousin. "Jesus Christ, Jesus come here! Come here we need your help!" Jesus than ran over to greet his cousin, "what is it?"

John exclaimed, "At the wedding there is a shortage of wine and bread, you must come to help us" A few minutes later John and Jesus were headed towards the wedding reception. Once they were at the reception Jesus took an opportunity to look around. They were in a large room with four round tables and a rectangular table at the head of the room. People were seated at every table. The groom looked over from the head table and came over to Jesus. He requested that Jesus manipulate the bread and wine to multipy itself. Jesus did as he was told and left the reception.

Soon after Jesus' departure, news of his powers spread throughout the town and to the "Village Voice", the local newspaper. Soon after when Jesus was walking along the shores edge he decided that he was going to walk on water. So a minute later Jesus defied the Laws of Conservation and Science and completed an impossible task. He walked on water! Henceforth, the phrase 'WOW' comes directly from Jesus.

Years later the Last Supper took place and Jesus was crucified. The Bible was written and many other religions developed. Now, over two thousand years later we are faced with a problem from an event that took place over two thousand years ago.

As it turns out, the Inn Keeper had his great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandson twice removed then replaced (because the church frowns upon divorce) keep an open tab for the many many many many many many years when a very pregnant Mary and Joseph stayed in the small shed in the back. The total cost has added up over the years and only time will tell when we Christians will get to stop paying the church more than we think is generous.

Therefore, if you think about the Bible in logical terms, then if you think of the Quran and the Torah, both of thoses religions (Islam and Judaism) are monotheistic and believed that there was a Jesus Christ. Both of the religions owe money to their own organizations as well. No one will ever know all of the facts about what happened for all of those years. The most important moral to the story (which may or may not be true) is to remember: history repeats itself. So if you stay at an Inn, make sure that The Wise Men are not lazy and clean up after themselves and never steal the Bibles Inn Keepers put in desk drawers.

THE END.


End file.
